Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

I think that the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.

Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite ta a party.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don't need an analyst.

Care for your clothes, like the good friends they are

I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.

Make your wardrobe as versatile as an actress. It should be able to play many roles.

Be afraid of nothing.

[To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?

Think it a vile habit to alter works of good composers, to omit parts of them, or to insert new-fashioned ornaments. This is the greatest insult you can offer to Art.

The brain is like a muscle. When it is in use we feel very good. Understanding is joyous.

The Anointing attracts Antagonism

Meditation makes the entire nervous system go into a field of coherence.

Lovers are the ones who know most about God; the theologian must listen to them.

By love, harmony and beauty you must turn the whole of life into a single vision of divine glory.

I am not responsible for the successful working of the machinery of society.

Voodoo Programming: Things programmers do that they know shouldn't work but they try anyway, and which sometimes actually work, such as recompiling everything.

I have sometimes played my best Davis Cup matches away from home when you stay in the moment a bit more. But it is tough when half the crowd are spitting on you.

I get very anti-social, depressed and irritable with people. I don't have time for them. I can't make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days.