Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Life is very nice, but it has no shape. The object of art is actually to give it some ..." Jean Anouilh, The Rehearsal

Most poverty is a lack of opportunity.

The art does not always mimic the artist. You never know the real person until you slide beneath their surface

If I traveled to the end of the rainbow as Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me the pot's at the other end.

In the range of music that we play - roughly 300 years' worth-there really are more similarities than differences.

The summer of 1943 at Exeter was as happy a time as I ever had in my life.

You can fall in the area of your strength as easily as you could fall in the area of your weakness.

It's important not to be afraid ego-wise to share your information.

You will never realize success on the outside until you can see it clearly o the inside. Success is inside out.

I absolutely do not need a salary or a job, that's the last thing I need.