Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Alex the waiter was on my Spank Naughty list in third place, right after Henry Calvill the actor, then Henry Calvill as Superman. He was proof that God existed, and that God loved straight women.

They have both loved you with a child’s love, and now a man’s. It is the child’s love that holds you together . . . cemented by the moments you shared with them that they treasure most.

Getting angry doesn't solve anything.

If you devote yourself to more than yourself ... you will have more than yourself to show for yourself.

Who we are varies according to our awareness. When you are more aware, you are someone else than when you are less aware.

If this is philosophy it is at any rate a philosophy that is not in its right mind.

I have always been a sucker for ballads, but you have to be careful these days, you can't overload people.

If everything proceeded according to their wishes, they would not understand what it means to follow God.

I build things that I think are exciting from a technology standpoint and will help make life easier, simpler and better for people.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?