Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

We all were courageous in the starting moments, few of us stayed courageous till the final moments and the world called them successful men.

If we praise God when things are tough, we show our trust in Him.

Lenny Breau played more great stuff at one time than anybody on the planet... with feeling and tone. He was the best that ever lived, bar none.

I don't know what the f--k I'm talking about with parenting.

The effort of art is to keep what is interesting in existence, to recreate it in the eternal.

Forgetting’s not something you do, it happens to you. Only it didn’t happen to me.

If you are not honorable enough to fight without prejudice, go home.

If you move between battalions, you are still within the same tribe.

Unfortunately, Congress is protecting the profits of those opposed to protecting the planet.