Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

their reality was far more interesting than any idealized version could possibly be

Hope is a better friend than despair.

God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he uses anonymous people.

So they watch over us like gods of old. Our patron sinners.

Right Now Is the Time to Be Kind You cannot do a kindness too soon for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.

Humans had a saying. Mess with the bull and get the horns. Well, Harpies had a saying, too. Mess with a Harpy and die.

it isn't good tactics to ask for something that you know will be refused.

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

I was making a film [Dream of Life] about Patti [Smith], but I was taking pictures, too.