Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

Writing is done alone. People do not talk about the things they do alone.

All relationships are your mirrors and all people are your teachers.

That's one of the fun things...That's your excuse for dressing up. You can get picked on and go, 'Oh well I'm in a band'.

I went through life big-bang-banda-boom-bada-boom.

An intelligent being, is the active principle of all things. One must have renounced all common sense to doubt it, and it is a waste of time to try to prove such self evident truth.

Being rich means you get to worry about everything except money.

Don't build walls and shut people out of your life. To act as if another does not exist is a mean and cruel weapon

Sleep, rest of things, O pleasing Deity, Peace of the soul, which cares dost crucify, Weary bodies refresh and mollify.

You are never really with a person unless you are alone with him.

I think Kenny Chesney or Garth Brooks would be the coolest duet partners. I look up to them so much for their work ethics.