Children are capable of such open rudeness.

One problem with being a leader, is that even among your friends you are alone, for it is you -- and you alone -- to whom the others look for final guidance.

May your adventures bring you closer together, even as they take you far away from home.

Is this what family is like: the feeling that everyone’s connected, that with one piece missing, the whole thing’s broken?

Rules and school are tools for fools! I don't give two mules for rules.

She announced her age right away, for children consider their ages every bit as important as their names.

I've only just arrived, Kate. It may surprise you to learn that you were my top priority.

Now listen, we need to be quiet as mice. No, quieter than that. As quiet as . . . as . . .” “Dead mice?” Reynie suggested. “Perfect, ” said Kate with an approving nod. “As quiet as dead mice.

It's not going to be over until we say so.

The missing aren't missing, they're only departed

Even if he did explain it, no one would believe him because no one would understand him. That's the downside to being a genius - just because you understand something doesn't mean anyone else will.

Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?

While you are waiting to die, you have to live.

I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference.

I'm just taking one match at a time.

No mean woman can cook well. It calls for a generous spirit, a light hand, and a large heart.

Do the right thing even if it means dying like a dog when no one's there to see you do it.

Cancer doesn’t care if you’re Republican or Democrat.

When the way looks infinitely long, if you are sure that it is the right way, ignore the distance and start walking!

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

True love opens the gates of time.