Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

To hear a radical change of perspective is to hear a kingdom minded man speak

My biggest worry is I'm running out of time and energy. Thirty years ago I thought 10 years was a really long time.

As an actor, you wouldn't be able to play a character if you were worried about the reaction to what you're doing.

I do the work with friends who are musicians as well. I'm working on a piece of music and I have an idea of who I want on the vocals, but I don't really have a list.

And, to all married men, be this a caution, Which they should duly tender as their life, Neither to doat too much, nor doubt a wife.

I'm interested in producing truncated shapes in proportion to the frame and composition, shapes that are preferably luminous. I'm not interested in the full-figure. I want to abstract forms.

Everyone in life knows what it's like to be picked on and to feel like an outsider.

With peaks of joy and valleys of heartache, life is a roller coaster ride that's both scary and exciting at the same time - the rise and fall of which defines our journey.

My dad owned a tiny little shop and we never had any family holidays or anything like that, so I was sent to boarding school as a means of control more than anything I think.

My life and work have been far from free of blemish, and so I think it would be unpardonable for a biographer not to dish up the dirt.