Christ. Seven years of college down the drain.

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

We’re on a mission from God.

We don't need no stinking badges!

On stage is the only place where I really know what I'm doing.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

In your 20s, you feel like you're indestructible...In your 30s, you think...I'll be around here a little longer, so I'm going to take better care of myself.

I give so much pleasure to so many people. Why can I not get some pleasure for myself?

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later he may be with his real girlfriend.

My family says they are proud of me. Of course, I would rather hear this than the contrary, but I cannot say that I am proud of myself, so I find that I cannot 'talk about it'.

Don't die famous. The things they will say you did and said would make you rise up in anger if you were alive.

The domain of God is primarily heaven. That is where he has limited himself to.

The first day I can remember looking into a mirror and being able to stand what I saw was the day I had a guitar in my hand.

Travelling, one accepts everything; indignation stays at home. One looks, one listens, one is roused to enthusiasm by the most dreadful things because they are new. Good travellers are heartless.

Until you are willing to be confused about what you already know, what you know will never grow bigger, better, or more useful.

A play for me never really takes on an aspect of reality until it has left the dryair of the study and begins to sniff the musty breezes of a bare stage.

In the end, the gesture of painting becomes almost meditative, like a ritual.