Christianity will doubtless still survive in the earth ten centuries hence- stuffed and in a museum.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

You only realise how small your world is, once you start to make it bigger

People are more comfortable learning about wine because now they can just Google, you know, 'Soave, ' and say, 'Oh, O.K., cool.'

Although there is no substitute for merit in writing, clarity comes closest to being one.

Courage lies in being oneself, in showing complete independence, in loving what one loves, in discovering the deep roots of one's feelings.

An acid is like a woman: a good one will eat through your pants.

Raised some taxes based on court orders and voter approval.

The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

I love the ending of a movie where two people end up together. Preferably if there's rain and an airport or running or a confession of love.

happiness aint got no Ph.D. or no certain amount of zeroes behind it!

Terms such as obscene are used swiftly in order to protect people from exposure to the truth.