Christmas makes everything twice as sad.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

In general, things either work out or they don’t, and if they don’t, you figure out something else, a plan B. There’s nothing wrong with plan B.

No problem is trivial to the angels. They want to help you with problems big and small. You are worthy and you are loved. And bottom line, is your problem is important to you, it's important to them.

How much weight can carry a thought which does not acknowledge that it is an illusion?

You are what your record says you are.

But sometimes there’s nothing left to do but move on.

If you could see yourself the way that others do, you'd wish you were as beautiful as you.

You know what I hate about rock? I hate tie-dyed tee shirts. I wouldn't wear a tie-dyed tee shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia.

Masculine pride is an exceedingly precious and fragile thing

Hitler decided that Mussolini must be freed from the Italian Partisans because Benito was his friend and had acted in good faith.

The holy law of Jesus Christ governs our civilisation, but it does not yet permeate it.