Chronocanine Envy:Sadness experienced when one realized that, unlike one's dog, one cannot live only in the present tense. As Kierkegaard said, "Life must be lived forward.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Rhino-mounted Bantu shock troops could have overthrown the Roman Empire. It never happened.

In the end, perfection is just a concept - an impossibility we use to torture ourselves and that contradicts nature.

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.

I want to bring softness and refinement to an urban, feminine wardrobe and to help the woman show her character and individuality through her unique clothes.

To be economical agriculture must be ecological.

American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.

The only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet got ourselves.

The Lord knew I would someday be charged with the priesthood responsibility for hundreds and even thousands of Heavenly Father's children who were in desperate temporal need.

Karma is your survival and your bondage. And if you handle it right, it can also be your liberation.

I'm not serious most of the time.