Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

We joyfully pray with grateful hearts, to welcome the sacred-blessings in New Year

She was simply Asha, a woman on her own. Had the situation been otherwise, she might not have come to know her own brain.

Depressed states can make us feel like we're constantly fighting against ourselves but we must engage in that fight for ourselves.

In truth, there is no such thing as an “intuitive boundary” of a sensory state. That most philosophers take such states as brain-bound is not an intuition, but a prejudice.

Some people run away to be alone, others to see who will follow

Hope is such a tenuous quality. To feel it and then to be denied what one most longs for ... Better, surely, not to hope at all, than to open the heart to a hope that is impossible.

You need to understand things in order to invent beyond them.

We all have fertile creative periods and times when we can't figure out how we ever did it.

Time spent with a potential leader is an investment.

When dictatorship is a fact, revolution is a duty!