Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

You cannot be kind unless you have all the other virtues.

You expect me to come and work for you dressed up as a man?” I gasped.

Memories are like dreams. You remember how you got to the front of the classroom with no clothes on.

I love being an author - its the first job I've ever had where I'm paid to daydream. Greig Beck

It is in the movements of emotional crisis that human beings reveal themselves most accurately.

Show me a church or a Christian organization that emphasizes prayer, and I'll show you a ministry where people are excited about Jesus Christ and are witnessing for Him.

The greatest thing a man can do for himself is to marry someone who is infinitely better than he is. And that's exactly what I did.

I don't call myself an actor, I call myself an entertainer, because I don't just do one thing.

That girl has a special talent

This is Buford,” Leo announced. “You name your furniture?” Frank asked.