Clearly, this was another thing I needed to add to the: ‘repetitive cycle of things that were constantly happening in my life’ list, which currently contained fainting and my ability to find trouble.

Quiet, ” she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.

I was going to become a human sand burger.

It was as if she was a wannabe Persian cat who had just tasted sour milk.

It’s tough, but if you want to survive, sometimes you have to do the seemingly impossible.

God, I felt as if I had just been flattened by ‘Elmer’ the elephant.

Quiet, � she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.

It’s tough, but if you want to survive, sometimes you have to do the seemingly impossible.

If we wait until our lives are free from sorrow or difficulty, then we wait forever. And miss the entire point.

When I wake up in a bad mood, I try not to stay in one. Learn to make the best of what you have.

Be brave if you lose and meek if you win.

A blaspheming Frenchman is a spectacle more pleasing to the Lord than a praying Englishman.

I used to practice clinical medicine. Now I practice political medicine, because it's the mother of all illnesses.

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

I have made a contract with my body. It has promised to accept harsh treatment from me on earth, and I have promised that it shall receive eternal rest in heaven.

Paint like a pig eats.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out