Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for long.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams.

San Franciscans have a bond of self-satisfaction bordering on smugness.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

There are a thousand viewpoints in the viewtiful city.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

Evolution is necessary for ones progress…. resisting it could make one sore in mind and spirit and then unable to enjoy the journey.

But when I am due…Keep local the chest to lay rest my simple skins in,

I don't expect people to agree with all my votes.

I have a lot of good days I'd like to relive.

Chance happens to all, but to turn chance to account is the gift of few.

I could still be forgotten when I'm dead. I don't really care what happens when I'm dead.

I went from MC to being MS, this microphone controller is the motivational speaker.

Indulge me, John. Cynicism and foul language are the only vices I'm presently capable of. Everything else takes energy or money.

Many people want to send their children to faith schools because they get good exam results, but they're not foolish enough to believe that it's because of faith that they get good exam results.

I don't see any possible excuse for any driver anywhere to endanger people.