Coleman Jacoby and Arnie Rosen won an Emmy and Mel Brooks didn't! Niezsche was right! There is no God! There is no God!

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

You must first dream, without worrying about how you will fulfill the dreams. There is a divine power that will attract the needed resources for the fulfillment of your dreams.

You know, you remind me of my younger brother. I miss that kid, so much that I sometimes regret killing him.

It was the secret to winning any contest, he said, in life or in the boxing ring – you just had to get up more than you fell down.

A strong argument for the religion of Christ is this - that offences against Charity are about the only ones which men on their death-beds can be made - not to understand - but to feel - as crime.

You make your own luck. Some people have bad luck all their lives.

The person in the business suit who works on Wall Street, who does their work perfectly, is probably evolving a lot faster, if they also meditate.

You first parents of the human race...who ruined yourself for an apple, what might you have done for a truffled turkey?

I have a very strong belief in God.

Total openness to serving others is our hallmark, it alone is our title of honour!

Grace comes into the soul as the morning sun into the world: there is first a dawning, then a mean light, and at last the sun in his excellent brightness.