Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Only when that time is converted can you produce something from it. You can only make wealth from a time well converted.

No one really wants you, they only want the idea of you.

Do not be a stupid, unless someone is paying you to be.

Eventually, if something pops up, that's cool, but I still wanna continue the process of learning how to be a good actor.

My mother and I split ways when I was very young and have never really reconciled.

Our job is to leave the world a little better than we found it. Not the same... not worse... better.

Economics is really politics in disguise.

Luxury lives in the finer details. It's a cloth napkin at a dinner table. It's a mint on your pillow before bed.

One should absorb the color of life.

A good creative-writing teacher can save a good writer a lot of time.