Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

The more you perform, the more adept you get at the nuances of navigating that communal conversation.

I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

It always comes down to what the crowd buys coming out of your mouth, which differs from one comic to the next.

I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there.

Happiness is health.

Hurt me back when I hurt you and I would always love you for it.

The Only Person I'm Prejudice Against, is The Lazy One!

Trust God without limit!

Justice means minding one's own business and not meddling with other men's concerns.

Though the body sleeps, the heart will never rest.

His achievements read like the graffiti on the walls of a hangman's changing room.

You dwell in whitened castles with deep and poisoned moats and cannot hear the curses which fill your children's throats.

As long as we're in a democracy, I have to give what I think the majority of people will enjoy.