Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.

The death of what's dead is the birth of what's living.

My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

Opposites are attracted when each one is anxious about its own character.

There is nothing more fragile than civilization.

There are some sins which are more justly to be denominated surprises than infidelities. To such the world should be lenient, as, doubtless, Heaven is forgiving.

Flirting is the first step in a long process of finding the right man or woman.

Through the act of translation we break out of linguistic confinement and reach many other communities.

Al Jazeera is known in the Arab world as the voice of freedom of expression.

It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it.