Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

keep in mind what choices you make because one day your going to have to face you loved ones and hear what they have to say.

I can't say I know at this moment what all these laws are. But on some level everybody knows that we are all getting exactly what we deserve.

First lesson learned: Knowing doesn't hold a candle to doing.

Satisfaction isn't so much getting what you want as wanting what you have.

Most people think of poise as calm, self-assured dignity; but I call it “just being you”.

I love playing the bad guy getting away with stuff. I was that kid who learned from my older brothers who got away with everything by smiling.

When we leave this world, and are laid in the earth, the prince walks as narrow a path as the day-laborer.

Don't wish for "secrets" of the masters, either. There are none worth fooling with. They had no special mediums or paints, nor special brushes that made their work great.

There are only four kinds of people in the world - those who have been caregivers, those who are caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.

Trust in God. Do your duty. Remember your prayers. Get faith in the Lord, and take hold and build up Zion. All will be right.