Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.

People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

Every language has its own music.

A mistake is a stepping stone to success

Take a chance of your life, you're risking nothing in this planet.

Youth is a period of missed opportunities.

We have not ceased to insist that an Islam of tolerance is advantageous to all Muslims, for the Afghans and the whole world and we will always defend it.

The great rule: If the little bit you have is nothing special in itself, at least find a way of saying it that is a little bit special.

The whole intent of Perl 5's module system was to encourage the growth of Perl culture rather than the Perl core.

The child has other powers than ours, and the creation he achieves is no small one; it is everything.

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

Our Lord never lays down the conditions of discipleship as the conditions of salvation.