Comedy is a noble art.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

The power of visibility can never be underestimated.

Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'

I’m not playing the race card. I’m playing the rice card.

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

Wooing a woman is like fishing

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.

Do not, for one second, allow people with closed minds and no ambition to make a difference in this life silence you or stop you from going above and beyond.

Nationalism is a form of cultural self-centeredness, and as a collective thought-form, can only exist because the dominant in-group is itself comprised of self-centered and narcissistic individuals.

Nothing increases the number of jobs so rapidly as labor-saving machinery, because it releases wants theretofore unknown, by permitting leisure.

I began the process of recording myself seriously in the fall of 1999. If I could finish an album of my own music, I would. Five years later I am happy to say I have.

I saw A Little Romance [and] I was so in love with Laurence Olivier. I watched that movie over and over and just fell in love with love.

When old Bobby does Elvis, you swear it's the real mccoy. Another Friday night in the life of a country boy.