Comedy is a noble art. And every comedian who does anything is serving a noble purpose.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

The power of visibility can never be underestimated.

Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'

I’m not playing the race card. I’m playing the rice card.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that you have to agree with people and their beliefs to defend them from injustice.

My friends think I'm outgoing, but I don't travel as much outside as I do from the inside.

There’s a lamentation in the flutter of your lash.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children

I can't stand Bob Dylan.

I'm going to deliver a detailed policy address on one of the greatest challenges facing our country today, illegal immigration.

I think that music at inappropriate times with inappropriate volumes can be the funniest thing ever.

My grandfather's 86 and he's having a baby. Man, I hope when I'm 86 I can have babies.

Sometimes there's something that you need a few takes to get it and if it takes 15 takes, it takes 15 takes. It really depends.

You have a place to live in this world which no other man can occupy; hence no competitors.