Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Mankind's glorious and people's happy ending is inevitable. No one will be left behind.

The good thing about a self-help book is that if you misunderstand something then it won't mock you.

It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities.

The very good people did not convince me

It is privilege of living to be ... acutely agonizingly conscious of the moment that is always present and always passing.

Scripture tells us to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." As we do, may God hold close those who’ve been taken from us too soon.

Distracting reactions about anything undermine a clear mind about anything else.

So long as one is able to pose one has still much to learn about suffering.

The barbarians come out at night.

I don't think film actors need training, really.