Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

For everything that's known about Lyme disease, there are still an extraordinary number of unknowns in some fairly fundamental areas.

The Infinite is the distance between both ears.

Kids today are looking for idols, but sometimes they look too far ... They don't have to look any farther than their home because those are the people that love you. They are the real heroes.

Let us not take what we eat for granted; let us view our meals as an opportunity to give our Lord praise.

Surely the only sound foundation for a civilization is a sound state of mind.

A lot of men hate women subconsciously or just are very confused about them or are afraid of them or are afraid of their power, or want to suppress them.

Fear and lies fester in darkness. The truth may wound, but it cuts clean.

Sometimes you think in order to act, sometimes you act in order to think.

Vitali [Klitschko] does want to fight me, but his promoter wants to be bigger than him. This is another situation of politics in the sport.

Well might the ancients make silence a god; for it is the element of all godhood, infinitude, or transcendental greatness,--at once the source and the ocean wherein all such begins and ends.