Comedy is difficult, especially slapstick. The trick is to have fun while you are performing it.

When I was young, I was told that I had a sulky, pouty face.

I spent a great deal of time with Che Guevara while I was in Havana. I believe he was far less a mercenary than he was a freedom fighter.

Lost in a crowd of greats, not a single Oscar. That's showbiz.

I don't remember having a crush on a boy when I was a girl. I don't even remember my first kiss.

The Queen Mary was the most civilized and luxurious way one could travel to America in the late 1930s.

John Candy knew he was going to die. He told me on his 40th birthday. He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.

I dainty little lass I wasn't. I looked twice my age until I turned 10 or 11.

I knew that Jamaica Inn was going to make me a star.

Henry Fonda gave me a spanking during a scene in Spencer's Mountain.

God has a most wicked sense of humor.

We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize that we only have one.

He was rather clumsy and shy and looked as if he'd spent the last ten years of his life locked up in a library - hardly the kind of man any girl your age dreams of ...

Wisdom is a mother

If rhetoric study was the military, grammar teachers would be the drill sergeants.

There's no such thing as going to a soapbox and saying, 'The government's corrupt, ' and not having the intelligence service see your face. In the digital world, that can be done.

It's funny, after a while, you get tired of having to fight someone because they don't like the way you look.

Here lies Mickey Mantle. Banned from baseball.

How unprepared we are for a terrorist attack.

Most people wear clothing that is too big or too small for them. And "oversized" is the downfall for most of us. We have to be careful that we don't look like we're slipcovered!

People have a bad habit of blaming the victims. Damn Jews! If hadn't been for them the Nazis wouldn't have exterminated 'em all!