Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Too many people are quick to dream big, but slow to act on it.

Face-to-face with a computer, people reflected on who they were in the mirror of the machine.

Some people sit at life’ banquet table while others serve them

When the gods are angry with a man they give him what he asks for.

I just work hard and do things as they come along. But it has been a challenge to learn that I have to say 'no' to things and to know how and what to prioritize.

I am interested in costume. Clothes in your daily life are important: your choices say something about you, even if what they're saying is about non-choice. And what you wear in a film is crucial.

Words are the birds that break cover and show your enemy where you're hiding.

I prefer being a small fish in a big pond.

I teach at Eastern University, which is highly committed to doing work among the poor and the oppressed peoples of the world. We have a special commitment to the city.

I have no fear, I have only ambition, and I want mine, And I will do anything to protect and feed my family.