Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

I went back to my conversation with Siegfried that morning

If you carry around anger and ugly emotions it will show on your face.

Those three divine attributes of a perfect woman: goodness, beauty and wealth.

I hope to shine through my transparency and just let people know that we are all the same. I want children to look at things different like "You're shining too! You just shine in a different way."

Christianity thinks of human individuals not as mere members of a group or items in a list, but as organs in a body-different from one another and each contributing what no other could.

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.

We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.

We need people who will go, and stay until the end.

Delaware: a state that has three counties when the tide is out, and two when it is in.

In this very moment I'm king In this very moment I slayed Goliath with a sling