Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Be persistent like a mosquito, at the end you will get your bite

For many of us, Christmas lunch is the most special meal of the year - and I certainly want nothing but the very best for this celebration.

When I wasn't killing time in school, I was sparring in the gym or selling crack on the strip.

The outer form of Buddhism, of practice, is etiquette - a series of ways to live intelligently that keep you alive, awake and happy, wakeful.

Believe in your dreams even when they seem lost.

Women are constantly underestimated in our power, our reach, our collective pull.

Anyone who is gossiping is just insecure about that person they're gossiping about.

You have to really believe in what you're doing, be passionate enough about it so that you will put in the hours and hard work that it takes to actually succeed there, and then you'll be successful.

Commending the victims to almighty God's mercy, I implore his strength upon all involved in rescue efforts and in caring for the survivors.