Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

This is a God who is not identified with the help of a dictionary but through a relationship.

My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.

The Truth is always trying to reveal itslef to us in our physical world.

I write while listening to music, mostly because the world beyond my headphones is too chaotic.

You see what power is holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them.

I am acting at university, and I have really enjoyed doing student drama.

What are you doing?" "Looking for my fangs." "We don't grow fangs you idiot!

One thing you learn from surfing is how to operate in the present. It's really what the surfing experience is all about.

The aged love what is practical while impetuous youth longs only for what is dazzling.

If you lack knowledge, go to school. If you lack wisdom, get on your knees.