Comedy keeps the heart sweet.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

There are two steps to achieving your dreams. Believe you can do anything you put your mind to. Put your mind to it.

Tchingis, if you determine this is to be so, who can withstand you? You are poetry after an ugly day, and heal wounds I didn't know I had.

Are you saying that we can affect what happened in the past? That we can change it?

While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself.

It can be a little difficult to command attention when surrounded by lunatics.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

I believe very firmly in the principle of free agency - people making their own decisions and doing what they think is right.

Whoever, however close to me you may be. Nobody can change my emotions. Even if I am sad it's my own problem, not somebody else's.

The coat of the buffalo never pinches under the arm, never puckers at the shoulders; it is always the same, yet never old fashioned nor out of date.

So much to say, yet no words would ever be enough.