Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

The brain waves of ordinary people during insight experiences are unique. Their brains are in special states.

There is no greater misery than false joys.

You should want to act only because you want to be led to something bigger in life.

The 19thc hatred of Realism is Caliban's enraged reaction to seeing his own face in the mirror. The 19thc rejection of Romanticism is Caliban's fury at not seeing his face reflected in the mirror.

Becoming conscious is of course a sacrilege against nature; it is as though you had robbed the unconscious of something.

Why travel - because the world was meant to be experienced, not imagined.

According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues.

Understudies don't normally get invited to openings.

When a woman ceases to alter the fashion of her hair, you guess that she has passed the crisis of her experience.

You are here to do something you are uniquely created for. No one else can do it like you can, that's why you're here