Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Have you realized that today is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday? It is your responsibility to change your life for the better.

Instead of thinking outside the box, Get rid of the box.

A blind Justice is merely an impartial Justice. True Justice would have eyes in the back of her head and a pair of mismatched shoes.

Get on top of the obstacles and they become vantage points.

There is no greater gift like LOVE.

It's weird: The leader of the Conservative Party in England is two years younger than me, and I still don't really feel like a responsible adult.

Developing our capacity for compassion makes it possible for us to help others in a more skillful and effective way.

They say I killed six or seven men for snoring. Well, it ain't true. I only killed one man for snoring.

I am madness maddened when it comes to books, writers, and the great granary silos where their wits are stored.

Our job in physics is to see things simply, to understand a great many complicated phenomena in a unified way, in terms of a few simple principles.