Computers can solve all kinds of problems except the unemployment problem they create.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

IntoxicatedWith the madnessI'm in love withMy sadnessBullshit beggars, enchanted kingdomFashion victims through their charcoaled teeth

I just can't sit still and meditate; that doesn't kind of work for me. I don't even know exactly what it means.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Credit is an 'I love debt' score.

Wal-Mart is going in and slaughtering [small towns] just as we once killed the buffalo.

Form, color, composition, drawing, are auxiliaries, any one of which... can be dispensed with.

All I want to be is normally insane.

As a ten-year-old boy, the Thief of Eddis could stop a grown man in his tracks with a single look. Where had that look gone?

I don't read. I don't like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It's not my style.

Gavroche had fallen only to rise again; he sat up, a long stream of blood rolled down his face, he raised both arms in air, looked in the direction whence the shot came, and began to sing.