Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

I believe religion is not a path to God, it´s a path away from God. Religion is a human invention. Jesus never wanted to be found in a religion, but in a relationship.

It's the family you choose that counts.

It's not the writing part that's hard. What's hard is sitting down to write.What keeps us from sitting down is Resistance.

Sometimes you struggle so hard to feed your family one way, you forget to feed them the other way, with spiritual nourishment. Everybody needs that.

A man is as big as the measure of his thinking.

The Beatles are the most credible band in the history of music.

Our hatred knows no bounds, and the war shall be to the death.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

If somebody steps on your shoes and ruins them, don't freak out.. get a new pair of shoes. If you miss something, don't freak out.. there's nothing you can do to change it.. just move on

If someone praises you with what you are not, they are in essence criticizing you of a deficiency in you.