Confidence: The feeling that makes one believe a man, even when one knows that one would lie in his place

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

It comes down to this: we're pieces of equipmentTo be counted and signed for. On occasion some of us break down, And those parts which can't be salvagedAre replaced with other GI parts, that's all.

We are never old with the strength of the spirit, although the body may fail.

Being true to ourselves is about having courage to define our own version of what it is to live a successful life.

The life history of the individual is first and foremost an accommodation to the patterns and standards traditionally handed down in his community.

My mom sent me money for a car, but the cops impounded it because I had no insurance.

People are under the illusion that it's easy...Technically, it is complex. You have a million options with equipment to distract you. I tell my students to simplify their equipment.

When I think of my best days as husband, I find I was doing what Regi said in this book. What Radical Husbands Do is a practical book I can safely give any man who is struggling in his marriage.

A hitter's impatience is the pitcher's biggest advantage.

We have always pretensions to fame which, in our own hearts, we know to be disputable.

When I was a kid I always wanted to be a mad scientist. I don't know... a regular scientist just was no one.