Congratulations is the civility of envy.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

War - An act of violence whose object is to constrain the enemy, to accomplish our will.

I had to fight with myself 'cause he's so good, yet he's so popular.

A human being is happiest and most successful when dedicated to a cause outside his own individual, selfish satisfaction.

You ought to know how to rise above the trivialities of life, in which most people are found drowning themselves.

If you believe that you will believe anything.

We must wrestle earnestly in prayer, like men contending with a deadly enemy for life.

Your confidence is the 15th club in your bag. You'd like it to be a thick headed driver. But it sometimes seems like a pretty weak little stick.

I define myself by everything that I love, everything I can create, everything that I can imagine.

There is a certain justice in criticism.

To the man of faith, there is always a future.