Congress, the legislative stone in America's urethra.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Life is a journey. It's up to you where you go.

It seems that we had...not a better education, per se, but perhaps more incentive to use it. They learn, but they hardly think.

Try to feel God in any little thing you do or feel. In a laugh, a smile, a tear, a revelation-a kiss.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

Sometimes you have to lose to win

People are really talkative in New York. Someone always comes up to me and says 'Hi' during the day.

In terms of my father, if you have 4 children that work in film, then there certainly was a happy, positive influence from him because none us became an accountant.

I'm not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side.

I was 20, I was an amateur from 14 but my first professional role was at 22.

Basically, the way you get into any role is just doing research on the type of character you're playing.