Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

Ideas are God pulling up the frame of the curtain to show us what can be.

The lake and the mountains have become my landscape, my real world.

I am a stranger. You do not need to lie to me or pretend. Only with friends do you need masks.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

You give to yourself by giving of yourself.

Life was sweet. Even when it was bad, there was always the hope of better...the future.

Any time you get a role that's a young person, that resembles what it's like to be a teenager, I always kind of jump at it.

Souls will never ascend to Heaven until the sight of beauty lifts them there.

You and I and everybody in show business and the entertainment industry fly by the seat of our pants. We don't know quite what is going to happen.