Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

I’ve been chasing you since before I knew what chasing a girl meant.

And time brings down what is both strong and tall. But plants new set to be eradicate, And buds new blown, to have so short a date, Is by his hand alone that guides nature and fate.

I heard the sighing of the reedsAt noontide and at evening,And some old dream I had forgottenI seemed to be remembering.

This is not my life. These are not my cobwebs. This is not the darkness I was designed for.

Immediately after games, we're talking about what we need to do for the next game. We're not satisfied in the moment that we're in.

Still paying, still to owe. Eternal woe!

The person that said winning isn't everything, never won anything.

I'm going to be the nominee. It's very hard not to look at the recent polls and think that the odds are very high I'm going to be the nominee.

It is not always worth the discomforts of major surgery to get minor recovery.

This haunting idea of becoming a celebrity doesn't settle well with me at all.