Conservatism's not the answer. The Republican Party has to reach out, moderate and modify its views to be able to accommodate radical Democrats, minorities, and so forth.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Rosalind exploded with a shriek worthy of a tea-kettle.

I embrace old age. Look, I'm never going to dunk on LeBron James, and I've learned to accept that. I got a pretty good life, and I'm very fortunate, and I have my blessings.

I do what I do merrily out of curiosity because I want to know how the brain works. That will get me up early in the morning and keep me going all day long.

Someday was the thing he had, because it was a lot harder to ruin than today.

You use to drive me wild, but lately you get your kicks from just knocking me down, down, down.

Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.

I'd like people to like me. I think most of my friends like me! I'm real and I get in trouble for speaking my mind. I will definitely tell you the truth because I have to. I get in trouble that way.

I'm running for president because there's no way we can elect Hillary Clinton to continue the policies.

For to be desperate is to discover strength. / We die of comfort and by conflict live.

Retarget your money. When your money comes in, you need to have already targeted where you are going to invest or doodad temptation will set in.