Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.

If words can be lethal weapons, I must provide them with an arsenal.

At thirty a man should know himself like the palm of his hand know the exact number of his defects and qualities. ... And above all accept these things.

When I interview someone, I know in the first two minutes if I like them or not. I find that if it's easy to talk to someone and I see an openness and honesty and integrity, then I usually hire them.

The last business of Christ's life was the saving of a poor penitent thief.

The greatest mistake a person can make is to be afraid of making one.

When a dog is chasing after you, whistle for him.

The translation process becomes a highly subjective thing - turning reds and blues into black-and-whiteness. It's really bizarre for me.

I've been trying to work on my positioning and defensive game.