Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You want to be competent? she thought. You want to learn to be in control of what goes on around you, rather than just being pushed around? Then you’ll have to learn to deal with failure.

Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly.

If you have to read to cheer yourself up, read biographies of writers who went insane.

...for the welfare of the whole world and the new world order.

Find out what your gift is and nurture it.

What was once easy became confused and hard, which brings us back to the mystic question, who is God?

Apparently Hillary [Clinton] doesn't come off as warm fuzzy.

I'll take on anybody on a competition that's on the Internet.

We must not let daylight in upon the magic.

Pride went before, ambition follows him.