Contrary to what people think, I'm no politician, and when I have something to say I say it through my movies.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I'm not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be.

The reason there are so many stupid people is because it's illegal to kill them.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.

TRUE Courage is when you are scared to death and STILL saddle up and ride in!

All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be some place else.

I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.

Very few of the so-called liberals are open-minded.... They shout you down and won't let you speak if you disagree with them.

A friend of mine told me to shoot first and ask questions later. I was going to ask him why, but I had to shoot him.

I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.

A wise parent humors the desire for independent action so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.

Next to the joy of the egotist is the joy of the detractor.

Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life.

When there's 100 people around you can't really forget yourself.

Good writin' ain't necessarily good readin'.

I like having little kids look at me. It's fun. They make these little faces.

The little bit of truth contained in many a lie is what makes them so terrible.

I think Enlightenment as an epistemic ideal involves rejecting the appeal to a fundamental stratum of non-conceptual self-evidence.

Why is it when I’m the one shot, I’m a baby, but when it’s you, it’s a matter of life and death and national security? (Joe) Because I’m cuter in a short skirt. (Tee)

I start where the last man left off. What the mind of man can conceive and believe, the mind of a man can achieve.