Conversation should be like juggling; up go the balls and plates, up and over, in and out, good solid objects that glitter in the footlights and fall with a bang if you miss them.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I'm old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up.

Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.

He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?

Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her persistently and gracefully.

See, some people politely encourage their tone-deaf friends to sing. Some people even convince them to go on live television and audition for national competitions. But me? I am not that friend.

What you do is less important than the difference you make.

By becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.

You traverse the world in search of happiness, which is within the reach of every man. A contented mind confers it on all.

To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims in-waiting.

We have to create jobs, put money into the taxpayer's pocket and Hillary Clinton has not shown that she is competent to be President of the United States.

I presume that it is the better part of wisdom that we bow to our fate with as good grace as possible.

It's very heartening to see people who I used to do music with still doing it.

Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.

Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.