Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The crime which is done now is that war has made a tool and slave of science, and man's knowledge, painfully and laboriously compiled, is made the instrument of man's destruction.

Destiny is like a book. It needs manufacturing, the pulp process, the glue fixed tightly--and it requires a binding, to hold it together, lest it fall apart.

One cannot explain the existence of genius. It is better to enjoy it.

Let's not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine.

No matter what you wear... to me, you will always have diamonds on the soles of your shoes.

When you look at what makes America great, what makes America, you know, not great, our ups and our downs, Springfield represents all of it.

Our problem with President Obama isn't that he's a bad person. By all accounts, he too is a good husband, and a good father - and thanks to lots of practice, a pretty good golfer.

If I were the president, I would be very concerned... and I would do what was reasonably necessary to find a way to get my people confirmed.

Keep silent, because the world of silence is a vast fullness

Be light. Smile. Drop. Learn the tendency to drop and smile and move through.