Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love.

I believe in a society where all people do well. Not just a handful of billionaires.

My mistress has come home; at last I've seen her. Now I'm ready to die.

Kids today are looking for idols, but sometimes they look too far ... They don't have to look any farther than their home because those are the people that love you. They are the real heroes.

Everyone loves a conspiracy.

The real secret of magic lies in the performance.

I wonder why it is that when I plan a route too carefully, it goes to pieces, whereas if I blunder along in blissful ignorance aimed in a fancied direction I get through with no trouble.

When you don't have much money, you get creative. There's so much money that gets wasted on big movie sets. But when you don't have much money, you improvise.

I am restless. I don't mind leaving this comfortable, static life. I could live a year on my own in a remote village.

The heart of taijutsu is important and only through training will one polish that heart (like a gem) and understand true taijutsu.