Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

Life is like a school, we are the student of it: Experience is our Teacher.

However happy people say they are, nobody is satisfied: we always have to be with the prettiest woman, buy a bigger house, change cars, desire what we do not have.

Earth and high heaven are fixed of old and founded strong.

Our Soviet society is socialist because private ownership of factories, plants, land, banks and means of transportation has been abolished in our country, and replaced by public ownership.

The NFL sort of reminds me of the tobacco companies, pre-'90s, when they kept saying, 'No, there is no link between smoking and damage to your health'.

When the soul is starved for nourishment, it lets us know with feelings of emptiness, anxiety, or yearning

Those who would rule with an iron fist always fear the free expression of opinions by those they would suppress.

Exercise is an unnatural act.

After 13 years of hard landings in gymnastics, one ski run had delivered the biggest injury of my career.

The person who takes medicine must recover twice, once from the disease and once from the medicine.