Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Klaus sighed, and opened a book, and as at so many other times when the middle Baudelaire child did not want to think about his circumstances, he began to read.

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.”“My sister is a nice girl, ” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.

A poem isn't selfish. It speaks to people.

There's no place like home. And I do miss my home.

I don't want to be remembered for my tennis accomplishments.

you must take the problem as it is, and let it be what it wants to be.

Literature is man's exploration of man by artificial light, which is better than natural light because we can direct it where we want.

I'm ready to fight, I've been looking for my baby all night. If I get her in my sight, boom, boom, out go the lights.

Freedom has its risks.

I am happy with what I do. I'd love to be the manager of the Atlanta Braves, but they hired somebody this week. So I'll just have to be inordinately happy with one of the best jobs on the planet.

People ... have tried to evoke God or devil to justify them in what their glands insisted upon.

Earth helped him with the cry of blood.